Shower Beer Vol LV: Stuff We’re Watching

Hey there fellow movie and television fans. If you've ever listened to our podcast you know that the second segment of our show is called our "protein shake" where each bro discusses things that are "in our cup", or what have we watched lately. Well recently I've been watching too much shit to bring up on just the podcast, so with the help of our creative team (Nate Thurmond) we decided to blog about a few of the things we've seen recently that we wanted to discuss that we might have left out.

We're naming it after the greatest pre-gaming invention of the 21st century, the shower beer!

Here are the things I've seen lately as well as the link to their IMDB page if you want a little bit more info to see if it's something down your alley. In addition, I write Letterboxd reviews for all the movies I see without any spoilers, but I might go into a bit more detail in this blog than I do over there.

1) War Machine - (Netflix) Lone Survivor meets Transformers. Ok you have my curiosity. Alan Ritchson gets to play the very cardboard Army Ranger in this movie who’s cast of characters around him could not be more expendable even if they were in the movie the Expendables. Somehow though it’s incredibly watchable, and even has a vintage Netflix original movie setpiece filmed from inside a car during a chase sequence. The movie ends up feeling like the setup to a much more interesting sequel film, but the concept of trained soldiers fighting against some enemy they have no idea wtf it is have some predator vibes. These movies are probably becoming pretty easy to make with all the AI technology, but knowing I don’t need to pay too close attention and I still get to see some cool shit blow up and people get fried to oblivion is a reason for me to consider not cancelling my Netflix subscription.

2) The Spy Who Loved Me - (Netflix) I said I thought Roger Moore was a bit underrated after Live and Let Die, but here in The Spy Who Loved Me I kinda get the criticism. He really adds nothing to the Bond character in this, and after the opening sequence which is awesome, he doesn’t sell the physicality much and he is really asked to. There is a badass helicopter set piece in the second act that once again has me gaining so much respect for the producers of this and their willingness to really spend the budget well. Here we get another paint by numbers where James falls in love with another operative, and he has to prevent a nuclear war. I have to wonder if Ian Fleming is even a real person or some AI pen name that just keeps regurgitating the same story over and over. Bond does do a decent job in this one of keeping it in his pants, but he’s chasing the same dime piece for most of the movie until he finally closes the deal in a submarine escape pod in the last few minutes. Gotta appreciate his resilience.

3) Moonraker - (Netflix) I can imagine the pitch for this script to the studio is just a sketch of Jaws skydiving followed by “any questions?”. Here we get probably the most ridiculous Bond movie so far, and at times it does work even if it’s not in on the joke. Bond is solving one of the more intriguing mysteries he’s come across, but once you figure out what the plot is the movie has few tricks left up it’s sleeve and resorts to bad puns, and taking the action to literal space. The final ten minutes feel like Space Balls, and there’s this weird romance thrown in with Jaws and some chick who wants his dick that I don’t know who it’s for. I’d like to think however that Jaws and her started a life in space, opened a bed and breakfast, and had two kids who were simple folk, but happy.

4) The Reunion: Laguna Beach - (Roku Channel) Laguna Beach is maybe my favorite reality show of all time, and if you know me that’s saying something. It came out at a time before we were oversaturated by Bravo, and while I was in high school watching high schoolers on the show so I’ll admit I’m a bit biased. The reunion special was picked up by Roku, and when it was announced I was fucking pumped. It’s hard to believe it’s been 20 years since season one, and honestly most of the cast are doing really well for themselves. We get all the main characters coming back, and most of the drama really stems from Kristen and Lauren and how they feel about each other now that they’re so far removed from the love triangle with Stephen and all the drama that unfolded related to it. There are a few characters who came back who seemed to be way more prominent in season two than one, but they add some good color by providing some stories and details that never made it to screen. I feel like these reunion shows are usually pretty hit or miss, but this one doesn’t overstay it’s welcome, and for fans of the show it answers the important questions.

5) Enola Holmes - (Netflix) No idea what caused it, but randomly I thought of this movie and how I’d never seen it, but really wanted to. I love the rip off of Guy Ritchie style with the narration by Enola, and was pleasantly surprised on how much of it Cavill was in it as I was worried he’d basically become stunt casting. Millie Bobby Brown is awesome, and does a great job of not overselling the “badass chick” trope that can feel a bit contrived when done with a lack of taste. The mystery is pretty easy to guess the reveal on, but it doesn’t take away from the fun of the bread crumbs. This film is full of actors who the whole movie you’re like “what the fuck are they in again?” and that’s an unintended mystery that we get to solve. I’ll definitely check out the sequel soon, and Netflix was kind enough to alert me every time I paused this to go take a piss or refill my drink that it’s getting a third entry.

6) The Transformers: The Movie - (Digital rental) An absolutely incredibly idiotic title which really sets the tone for the movie. I will admit I’ve not seen the animated series this is based on in nearly 20 years so that could be part of my problem here. I cannot believe how fucking confusing and scatterbrained this plot is for a supposed kids movie. They’ve crammed basically three entire feature length plots into an eighty minute runtime. Also (SPOILERS) very bold choice to make a Transformers movie and kill off Optimus Prime for realsies in the first fifteen minutes. We all want to just see the Autobots running around aimlessly with an eight year old kid instead of their legendary leader and the face of the franchise. This movie does have a soundtrack that is full of 80’s bangers which I was not expecting. I don’t think any of the lyrics to any of the songs connect to the movie in any way, but they do slap.

7) Broad Trip - (Roku Channel) We return to the Roku channel which has a few charming gems every once in awhile. I would not classify this as such, but it does have a few fun moments. Sophia Bush is great in anything, but she is really slumming it here. The comedic weight she is forced to carry in this would make even the strongest of us break. Her “love interest” in the movie is so miscast and unwatchable that I would find something to go do in my kitchen when he came on screen. The chemistry between her and her mom is solid at times, but she is the only character in this that isn’t a total caricature, and we’ve all seen how that trope plays out. The runtime is a get in, get out situation which is great, and my wife seemed to enjoy it so I won’t shit on it too bad. Pus the Roku channel is free so there’s that.

8) Thrash - (Netflix) At this point Netflix knows what I like, and when they have some original content that’s a trashy shark attack movie they throw it in my face. I took the bait, pun intended here, and for the first two acts I was kind of regretting it. The movie begins by introducing it’s very cliche characters to you, and beating you over the head with why you should care about them should they get eaten by a shark. As we tread though this thing, a change occurs at the start of the third act…and it is in no way subtle. It feels like a different director hijacked the last third of the movie, and had a vision for what the fuck the people really wanted. It becomes a Guy Ritchie esque action comedy, with one liners and quick cutaways that bring a kinetic feel to it that was glaringly absent for the first hour. I got whiplash and had to wear a neckbrace for the rest of it the change was so drastic. In the end, it cannot salvage this Frankenstein piece of work, but I want to do some research and see why this movie did such an about face, and where I can find more of what we got in the last part of it.

9) Hamnet - (Peacock) “Depressing as fuck” -Roger Ebert, is what the back of this DVD would read had it come out in 2002. Paul Mescal is so hot right now, and this was that super artistic choice that actors make when their career has a lot of heat to really stretch themselves. I’ll say it looks gorgeous, and the performances are very good, but incredibly morose and don’t layer the characters very much. I get a bit confused by some of the dialogue in these period pieces because I myself am a Neanderthal, but with subtitles I was able to figure things out. The story traverses a long stretch of time too which can also make things confusing at times trying to piece together where certain characters are in their lives and their relationships. While the third act is a bit if a slog, it closes with what I think is the best scene of the movie in the final five minutes. Have some tissues ready because the laughs are not coming a mile a minute with this one.

10) Remember the Titans - (Disney +) A once a year watch for me. I always notice more and more on teach visit how poorly edited the first half of the movie is, but once you get into the football season this thing hums. Denzel is at his peak and owns the screen, and the score is iconic. The characters are fun as hell, and Ryan Gosling shows the early stages of how charismatic he is. If you don’t love the relationship between Gerry and Julius I think something is broken inside of you. I also think we have to give coach Boone a lot of credit for integrating Sunshine into the offense after the Rev injury. That could’ve derailed a team, but he went with the West Coast offense and really opened things up. One final note, Petey dude…what a bitch. Can’t believe how many times this guy quits stuff. Oh some adversity? Nah I’m good I’ll just pout on the sideline. I’ve seen children at daycare with more resolve than him. Please don’t question why I’m studying kids at daycare it’s for science.

-JH